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La · Fleurette · Révolutionnaire


Day 3 Goth/Loli

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I'm going to chicken out an not post any bad photos after all. Sorry to disappoint :D

Day 3 – When did you come out the Goth closet? (If you didn't then simply discuss the topic)
Closets and I are weird. I don't really have any closets, but I'm not that open about my differences either. I just don't deny them if they happen to pop up.

I've tried to keep things about myself secret, but that tends to backfire pretty hardcore. It ends up being something I'm ashamed of. When people talk about "such-and-such Pride!" they're not trying to shove it in your face, or sound superior, or whatever it is people think about Pride movements. They are choosing to be open about themselves, which promotes pride and a sense of self-acceptance, rather than carefully hide themselves, which promotes shame and fear of judgment from others.

I've only recently started to get into goth, and I think I'm too old to go over-the-top on a daily basis anyway, so I don't know if anybody has really noticed. My friends know what kind of things I like and what I'm into at any given moment, and I think my family just thinks I'm strange.

Day 3 – 10 things you hate in lolita.

1. People who don't dress Lolita going around and telling others what Lolita is all about, and worse, criticizing others' Lolita outfits. I don't care what your reasoning is for not dressing up or how many years you've "studied" Lolita, you don't get to tell somebody how to be "more Lolita" without ever having experienced the art of coordinating your own outfit. It's different if they ask for your opinion and you offer it humbly.

2. Cliquism. I am sad to say I was guilty of this once. You don't know how heavily the Lolita community relies on cliques until you aren't in them anymore. You can be a kind and accepting person, and still be part of a clique. Tell me you aren't just a little wary of people who you don't recognize, but who try to pass themselves off as knowledgeable Lolitas?

3. Certain Sweet Lolita aesthetics that were inspired by Angelic Pretty...the OTT, super-saturated colors with prints and accessories made with sweets. I don't care if you like it and want to wear it, it just makes me a little ill.

4. People who wear Lolita that isn't suited to their body type or personality. Just because you put the perfect outfit together doesn't mean it looks good on you...

5. The fact that my favorite brands have never offered overseas shipping! UGHGHGH.

6. When people say that Lolita is ONLY a fashion. If it were only fashion, people would not identify as "Lolita", and we wouldn't ask people what Lolita means to them. Maybe the people who say this are just trying to counter the people who ask whether their toothbrush is Lolita enough. I still don't think it's good to speak in extremes like that.

7. The absence of Aristocrat and male styles in the modern-day community... A long time ago, I felt like all of the styles were fairly well-represented, with a dominance of Lolita styles. Nowadays, there are very few people who not only dress in these styles, but wear them well. Even though Lolitas have always accepted me as an Aristocrat as part of their community, it's still intimidating to be the only person who is different. A freak among freaks, if you will.

8. I don't know if this still happens, but I really dislike the way males used to be treated in the Lolita community. Lolitas used to ask their boyfriends to dress up in some kind of Dandy or pseudo-Ouji style while they wore Lolita, and essentially treated them as accessories...that was the actual phrase used at the time. On top of that, at several meetups, some mildly sexist comments were made, like "You have to hold the door for the ladies!" or "Don't worry, the men can do the dirty work!" "The men will protect us!" etc. I felt like "the men" didn't appreciate the comments.

I've run out of things to hate, so here are a few more things I LOVE about Lolita :D

1. I love it when somebody not only takes the time to coordinate a cute outfit, but also practices how to act and speak while dressed that way. I think it takes a lot of dedication and skill...and I know it's not easy, because I suck at acting.

I know you don't have to do this to be a Lolita, and some people are even offended by it, but I think it's the sweetest thing ever! It's such a pleasure to meet such a person as long as they seem genuinely kind. Please, if you enjoy doing this, don't ever let someone tell you to stop.

2. I love hearing about how Lolita gives individuals a sense of confidence and wholeness. I think it's such a beautiful phenomenon, and it makes me happy to know that something I love allows people to find themselves and live a confident life. These are the people who make Lolita wonderful and fun for everyone else.
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